Tabrapp

Daily Thought

Sometimes, daily life with a husband, a two year old and step 16 year old and being a full time house wife is just so much, so heavy. And I just want to give up and be done and just take a breath. Take a break. Just stop. Just for me. But do I deserveContinue reading “Daily Thought”

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Intrusive

My mouth opens slowlyNo words protrude from my mouthMy eyes dont blinkWide open, feels like I’m in a cloudThe very white of my eyesToday is a blood shot redI yawn but I can’t close my eyesI try not to hold the thought of being deadYou think, “what’s normal?”I blink as the eye lashes touch myContinue reading “Intrusive”

What is Bipolar Disorder?

Bipolar Disorder Do you feel very happy and outgoing—or very irritable—on some days, but unusually sad or anxious on other days? Do the “up” periods go along with increased energy or activity? Do the “downs” go along with low energy, hopelessness, or inability to enjoy what you usually like to do, and sometimes suicidal thoughts?Continue reading “What is Bipolar Disorder?”

Stop and Smell the Roses

Whenever we go to the store, if they have a flower section my two-year-old has to stop whatever were doing and go over to smell them. I can be caught up in my bipolar mind and SNAP! Just like that I get over the feeling of sinking in quick sand and feel a sense ofContinue reading “Stop and Smell the Roses”

Hairless Bipolar

For years I have always taken my impulses out on my hair. I’ve chopped it off and I’ve colored it. Anyone else?! So today I have decided to try AGAIN to grow it out. Just venting about some of the “stupid” not real serious things that come with having bipolar…I just want long luscious locksContinue reading “Hairless Bipolar”

Hating Bipolar

Ugh. I hate taking so many meds. I hate having memory and weight problems because of all these meds. I hate still dealing with mania and depression even though I am taking so many meds. I hate that everyone loves me when I’m manic and then the manic becomes too much and then no oneContinue reading “Hating Bipolar”

A Mover. A Shaker. A Mischievous Mess-Maker.

Having a two-year-old with bipolar and being a recovering alcoholic can be a struggle some days. It should not be a daunting task. I’m a mother who loves her “little bug.” I can only be the best mom I can be today. The old cliche of recovery is, “One Day at a time.” This isContinue reading “A Mover. A Shaker. A Mischievous Mess-Maker.”

Alcoholic Sacrament Part 3

Because of the trouble my ex had gotten into, he was put on probation and required to wear an alcohol monitoring bracelet. I wish I could say I was being a supportive wife but my thoughts remained selfish. “Why do I have to stop drinking? I’m not the one who got in trouble.” As aContinue reading “Alcoholic Sacrament Part 3”